I can also tat and crochet laces or other fine works.
When you come up from the boats and get to the top of Westminster Bridge, it is heaving with tourists and whenever somewhere is heaving with tourists you'll find people trying to sell them a lot of tourist tat .
Let's just say, America's great for tat .
But the desire for all this ephemeral and disposable tat could be avoided, claim the critics, by curtailing or even banning advertising aimed directly at children.
Cafes, fun fairs, tat shops and arts and crafts litter the Venice beachfront, but it is the stallholders rather than the stalls themselves that provide the interest.
Well, me and the wife went to Ocean Finance to buy some new furniture to replace this gaudy tat .
Talking of Americans, a couple of them wandered into Bric Brac, one of the many shops around here selling tourist tat , and emerged with a garish, cat-shaped jug.
Hiring a skip, we spent days clearing the place of his useless tat before we could move our own piles of useless tat in.
Which goes some way to explaining why I'm currently sitting surrounded by piles of books, items of clothing and random tat .
And with the Easter weekend opening up before us like Goatse man's bottom, what better time to promote the best tat our country has to offer.